things to do on an elevator

1) CRACK open your briefcase or handbag, peer Inside and ask “Got enough air in there?”
2) STAND silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.
3) WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you’re embarrassed when they open themselves.
4) GREET everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.
5) MEOW occasionally.
6) STARE At another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: “You’re one of THEM” - and back away slowly

7) SAY -DING at each floor.
8) SAY “I wonder what all these do?” And push all the red buttons.
9) MAKE explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
10) STARE, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: “I have new socks on.”
11) WHEN the elevator is silent, look around and ask: “Is that your beeper?”
12) TRY to make personal calls on the emergency phone.
13) DRAW a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: “This is my personal space.”
14) WHEN there’s only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn’t you.
15) PUSH the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.
16) ASK if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.
17) HOLD the doors open and say you’re waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say “Hi Greg, How’s your day been?”
18) DROP a pen and wail until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: “That’s mine!”
19) BRING a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.
20) PRETEND you’re a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the Passengers.
21) SWAT at flies that don’t exist.
22) CALL out “Group hug” then enforce it.

-stolen from ebaums

what the hell is on joeys head

the fat sweaty white man part


and now the fun techno part

R.I.P. Chapelle Show

what did the 5 fingers say to the face

slap
its my beer

i gotta find his head with ma foot.. thats the hard part

have you ever heard a song that tells who you are so well

your racist if you think swords dont kill asains too

changed my life

if u want to watch in order watch the 2nd video first

awesome one/2nd one


1st real one

well
i leaving the country tomrow +1
hooray italy
one week in florence
one week in corsico?
drinking vino
wearing super chest showing shirts
sitting in a hammock
in a vila
waking up next to strangers
and waking up next to justinn
cant waitt!

my new rolemodel

well i found a new role model
genghis khan
not only did he have a huge empire
he populated 8% of the people in his former empire
there like all his direct descendant
.5% of the world populating
16 million people
he got it on
http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2003/02/0214_030214_genghis.html

you know my leather so soft but dont think i aint hard

well friday i went to kats but mainly colletes
mad alot fun
kat is the worst stripper ever
she cant even work the pole without hurting herself
pshh
wata noob
and ali never showed up on a magic carpet to grant me three wishes
and collete really does make good popcorn
then last night i went to d'annas (paul bunyan) sweet 16
saw some peopel havent seen in a whilee
and lior and justin and mortimer where fighting over drinking
it was so funny
im gunna not drink till the summer
and i havent drank since 420
but i might today
but come on
its a house party
i gotta be cool in front of the big bad college kid
me and sky had so muhch fun last nightt
peanut butter
pretzel and oatmeal cookie sandwhich
i just relized we ate a pound of peanut butter
and no milk
we champ mad hard

would you rather have sex with anyone in the world anytime for a month., or get free food for the rest of your life
-stolen

fuck being a free agent

man
ima free agent for frisbee
i told craig to put me on the draft list but he forgot
)=
and went to visit liz last night
was mad fun
liz did good singing
can u blackout smoking
me and adam where wondering?
i know it causes memory loss
but i mean like blackout like drinking from smoking
i dont think u can

i be on that all night

ya
we lost again in lax
im used to it
and i got caught cursing again
and i might be benched
not really sure why
whatever
oh ya
got an ipod 30gb video for 40$
and it works and everyhting
so life is great
and just made alota money
so life is 2x great
and was gunna see kat tomrow
but someone breaks plans
but i partying up at new paltz sat
i dont care about lizes performance
just seeing my lover
you know who u are

i be on that all night
i be on that kryptonite
straight up on that kryptonite
and 2 days ago i had a big black women sub for english
she believed me and a spanish kid where brothers
and i was 1/2 dominican
i am from the west end of DR!
and she sings a gospel chior
so her and all the other big black girls where talking gospel
it was a wacky day

diamonds and girls

ok
last night was so funny
baked and then saw harold and kumar

u boys ready for a cockmeat sandwhich

the movie was so so funny
it was with tim brohut
lizzo
bsul
c-mal
k-wal
kitner
so it was a really funny group of people

hat trick sonn

yaa sonnn
i gotta hat trick
and shoulda had 4 goals
but missed a shot so close
it happens
and i was getting shut off the whole game
yess im the best
and it was a funny asain kid shutting me off
stop sleeping azn kid!
im not im just azn!
silly asians

and we won
so it was mad nice
i got a 48 on an Italian test
Italian is so stupidd
i wish i could drop it

noe stop stop stop stop now go go go go

get out the car get out the car let it roll let it roll let it roll

ya
today i got caught ghost ridin da whip )=
daddy saw me lior mike justin doing it
it was sorta funny
but scary
i was ontop of liors volvo while it was riding like on our street
and we where all ghost riding it
and i was just dancing on top of the hood
while lollipop was blasting
it was so so much fun
i wana do it again
but not around my daddy
and in a super fast car
ima ask amay if he wants to ghost ride it

at dinner i was talking about how my braces hurt
and daddy said
"well if lior jammed on the breaks u woulda fell off the car and slammed all your teeth out
then you wouldnt have to worry about your braces hurting"
hehe
oh daddy
no one gets hurt ghost ridin da whip

all great things come to an end

break is over
it happens
me and lenny mad tight about it
had a sweet 16 today
coulda dances alot
but it was light in the dance floor
so i couldnt bust out any super dirty moves
but it was still funn
it was a chill break
like some nights where fuck ya chug beer and stuff
then some where
giggle exhale
and some where
smores!
and some where family
but all where funn
cant wait till the fucking summmer
and i like gouda cheese now
mad good

sunburn sucks real bad
hurts to do anything
i got it really good
cause
"bro no way ur gunna get sunburn where just playing frisbee"
"the suns barely out"
nah i dont need sun tan lotion
this years gunna be differnt and im not gunna get a sunburn everytime i go anywhere without a shirt on
i was wrong
like every year
hopefully ill learn
or skin cancer will teach me
which ever comes first

went to a bonfire last night
mad alot fun
was ok on the pong table
lost
even though we won
they where just stupid drunks
the girl shot outta turn
and made it in
then i shot and made it
but it didnt matter cause she shot out of turn
and they missed redemption
was so stupid
so we just went to ot
they won
)=
12-1 so far spring break
not to bad

and my momma birthday today!
i made her lunch and tea and stuff
and got up early to say happy birthday to her
and made her a cd cause she wanted one
its sucha good cd

and i want a black 5950
and a white one
i feel like i can wear it and make it classy at a sweet 16
like kayne west/lil wayne classy
not old english man fancy

you niggas soft
you should be rapping in leotards

ok
still undefeated at beerpong over break
sucha good break
tryed some new stuff
was pretty aweosmee
7-0
good shit
and won a game for money
dont fuck with matt craig and burg
MD

bro i fucking love getting high

happpy 4/20

ok so spring break is going so fucking good
friday night i went to this pretty much lax party
it was at this kid walshs house and it was so awesome
we had to go for a beer run
and his brother didnt come home
so me and bsul and mike sadorki stole a car and it was the best car ride ever
so scary and fun
it was aweosme cause bsul drove
didnt have a license
and has only been driving 2x with his dad
and we where carrying 90 beers in the car
and 6 smirnoff for lior
)=
my friends need to drink beer
thats why i love justin
he started drinking beer
and lior only drinks smirnoff )=
so that party was awesome
brofest
but ina good way
and i went 5-0 in beer pong
me and matt richies official beer pong record
5-0
guidos for life
then last nihgt went to the backdoor
i didnt go in
and hung out with some people
it was pretty funn
and party today
mybe ill smoke
idk
and ya
spring break has been mad fun

can i buy you a fish sandwhich

what is love?
what is the longing in our heart for togetherness?
is it not the sweetess flower?
does not this flower of love have the fragrent aroma of fine fine diamond?
does not the wind love the dirt?
is not love not unlike the inlikely nit is unlinking to?..
release the power within yourself!
you heard me, release that power!
tame the wild cosmos with a whisper
conquer the heaven with one intimate caress
thats right
dont be shy
whip it out
everything you got and do it in da but

-leon phelps
-my role model

no more blood diamonds for me

well i just watched blood diamond
mad alot good
im def getting a conflict free diamond for all my bling when ima famous rapper
my way of giving back to ma brothers in da struggle in africa and such

legs still suck
thye hurt last night dancing
but i still beat lizzo in a dance off
so it dont matter

last night was awesome at Claudia's
there was pigs in a blanket
good music
and friendly girls
so what else can u ask for in life

and today me and lior went to get bacon egg and cheeses for brunch i guess
double everything
cuase im the fucking man and everyone should know it

and i guido my hair last night
i think i gunna do it agian for the UN trip
it looked mad ballin
im gunna get mad diplomats on my wang
and theres a fancy buffet!
nice
do u have to wear like a white shirt at fancy places like that
cause i dont want to

and lifes annoying cause the masters of golf r on tv
so i can never watch tv )=

well
life
is crappy at best
i been wearing sweat pants everyday for the past 3 weeks(differnt ones everyday of course)
though comfy
not classy
and ima classy kid

wat else
lax sucks
missing 1/3 of our starters
i have bad shin splints
i wonder if i have a stress fracture
ive had constant leg pain for over a month
and havent found any good new music to listen to

also i been going to bed at ten every night
and still wake up tired as fuck
10-6:20
u would think i would be a little awake
but no
mad alot tired
also girls r confusing
wonder how many guys say that
and girls change alot
its annoying
guess i gotta get used to it

got net flix
its pretty awesome
i watch alota movies when i have time

and my GTA is pissing me off
theres like no more missions
and i know i didnt beat the game
they just dont show up anymore
idk
it better work again
cause i started getting into it again

so things to improve in my life
1.lax
2.girl
3.GTA
4.breakfast
i tired of doing the same exact thing everyday
ill start from my 9:45 at nihgt
take shower
wake up at 6:20
get outta bed and put in contacts at 6:23
walk into kitchen
put everything bagel in toaster to medium setting
get out cream cheese and jelly
go back into room get dressed
come out at 6:27-6:30
eat
done around 6:40
leave for bus at 6:44
the only periods i like in school is
every other day study hall cause one day its just one girl bitching
and others its fun
sorta
and lunch
sometimes
then lax
and idk
i hate it cause of my legs
like im the best on the team
but its not saying alot
so ya
im only sad cause i let sally p down

and i always tired for lax cause i sleep everyday 8th per
english is the most worthless subject ever

call me so i can make it juicy for you

well since my last post
almost got kicked of the lax team twice
i guess im just go good dealing with coaches
but
"coaches are greedy, they only want to win"
-adam yudman
thats what im gunna base my sports career on now
if im the best coach will have to play me
so first time i got introuble was when i was walking when we where running laps
everyone on the team walked the turns
and ran the straightaway
and coach caught me and 4 other starts
other time when we where running sprints cause we where in trouble
i said slow down to matt richie
and coach heard
and vinny had a party last nihgt
i felt bad cause i brought like 6 people who invited themselves
and they got kicked out immediatly
i did good on the pong table
first shot i pointed and said
"hey tell that girl to put her boobs away"
bounces
2 cups
works everytime
and then it was 1 cup to one cup and we arm wrestled for the table
he won
i gotta work on my arm wrestling technique
and ya
i also stole his parents champagne
opening it was aweosme
mad classy
im gunna start drinking champagne instead of beer
oh wait
no im not
and pa's surgery went good
hes already home and walking around and talking and stuff
good stuff
and i have the best shot on the lax team
by far
its nice

we aint got no squirrels today but come back soon

ya
so last night i slept over kevin waldens house
its redic nice
and has really big fancy freezers
and bsul
and tim brohut slept over
there really good at madden
they like actually make real plays and know wat to do
i just ask madden and hit stick
and acopuple of days ago i playyed bball with mark
adam
justin
scott
i dunked about 4 times
and justin was the best even though he was casted

oh ya and yesterday had a lax game
like a tournament

I FUCKING SCORED LEFTY ON JOHN JAY
9th best team in the nation

and also i was using someone elses stick
mine was doing fine
then threw with so so so so much fucking hook for no reason at all
it was being sucha dick
i shoulda had like 5 goals

fucking dick stick

and lil wayne-lollipop
is basicly my new fav song

im so motha fucking high, i can eat a star

well i not sure how lax went
i guess i did good
when i was in a dodged a kid
he tripped over his feet
and his neck got in the way of my steel tips
it happpens
ya
i have no idea
wats wrong with me
when i woke up i take 6 ibprofen
then right b4 the game i took 8
and it still hurt
so ya
anyone wana sell me prescription pain killers?
so sweeet tits
i not going to school tormow
cause my momma dont want me to
so i can skip practice and go to some cornell leadership thing
coach will hate me
but he already completly does
so it dont matter

hmm wat else
i was so angry last night
i got 2 chicken parms
and i clearly said no sauce on it sauce on the side
guess what those mother fuckers did
put sauce on it
so when i eat my 2nd one for lunch the next day
its fucking soggy
dicks
so ya
i might bomb them
not sure yet

man i love puff daddy and the police

so i listening to that song ill be missing u with puff daddy and police
its sucha sweet tits song
so so sweet tits

hmm wat else
kat came over last night
mad fun
watched rainman
silly dustin hoffman
i see so much of myself in him

wat else
lacrosse is sorta horrible
only cuase of my shin splints things
they hurt all the fucking time
stupidass legs
fuckign up and such

Schuyler is here
he likes me so much more than lizz
its so so sweeet
where in love
cant wait for liz to go to vegas to get her out of the picture

and no one wanted to drink tonight
mad gay
u had so much voldka
mad heads just smokes )=
stupid idiots

and now facebook wont let me log on
assholes
fuck ur maintence

and i really want something with a Jamaican flag on it
its my new fav flag
besdies the america flag
so remeber fellow americans
only drink american beer
none of that pussy french bullshit

hmm
eather worst
or best choice of my lacrosse career
at first i was gunna play jv
then coach called me and told me to play varsity
then i did
and did all the training and stuff
and ya
everyday i just got repeatedly shit on
by b.rose
and dan
but never russ
and ya so it sucked
and my shin or calf problem was so so bad
i could never walk
today my advil intake
4 when waking up
2 end of 3rd period
1 right after lunch
2 begining of 8th period
3 b4 practice
2 when i got home
15 in 12 hours
that might be bad
and my legs only hurt half as bad as they usualy do
so im on jv now
and idk
my legs just hurt so much
and i barely got in on varsity
cause it hurt so so fucking much to run
so guys always ran by me
i can deal with all the conditioning
all the 3 mile runs
all the hill sprints
and the 100 pushups when a goalie cant stop the ball
and now the coaches think ima pussy
so im gunna go to a bar and challenge grasso to a drink off
even though i will probly die i will have honor
and thats all that matters

and i dont wana do my bill cosby essay
wat did he overcome besides being black
that has to be a bigas paragraph
fuck

watever
ill figure it out

fuck
2739 songs
and nothing at all to listen 2
)=

thats why u got sucha fat ass

my shin splints r sorta away
but not really
i jsut on lethal does of advil and other fun pain killers

ohh ya
i was talking to coach
and somehow it came up and he asked me how much i weigh
and im like 200
and he said
"oh thats why u have such a fat ass"

and i not sure if i wana play varsity
like i not gunna play alot this year
even though im better at faceoffs
i would dominate jv so hard
like league leading scorer hard
and all my friends r on it
but its still cool to be like
ya im on varsity lax
like sally p hard
thats how bad id dominate jv
and no one could knock me down
cause im one of the biggest kids on varsity
i think 3rd biggest
mad alot muscles
and fat asses

last night hungout with flap jaxs
def one of my new bffs
and some 9th grs
dey cool and such
and me him and justin and lior r gunna have a show
chocolate vanilla strawberry and carmel
flap jax=chocolate
me=vanilla
justin=strawberry
lior=carmel

so ya
everyone will watch it

2 questions

one
whats the comfiest sweat pants company
2nd
what r some good pumpup songs

jsut leave suggestions and such in comments

Ya Camera Has Never Saw A Picture This Nice

so
i made varsity
i am basicly the sean o connor and craig meanie put together of the lax world
with some sally p threw in there
and a splash of pete

ya
i miss my jv boys though
even if the team sucks it woulda been mad fun 2 play

laughing at these niggas like ha ha ha

and david zimore didnt play
dont CB
the DZ

wata dick!

and last night someone spilled busch on my flip flops
dick
now they smell like cheap beer

and this other time on his blog

well for 1
im glad sean o'connor stalks my blog
u should 2!
so yestersday i saw saw the movie for the first time
iim not sure if i spelled that right
but watevs
ya and was hanging with l+j till they went to bowling
then i had to start pregaming with 151
which isnt realy a good idea
its better if the actual game is 151
and went to some party
first off there was like 70 people there
and mybe 10 girls
and mybe 4 hittable ones
so my odds where low
but i still prevailed
2nd
i think the hockey team had the most people there
cause we party the fucking hardest
seanie threw up
wata pussy!
but after he felt better and i made him throwup so it was all good
i also made a sweetass black friends
and there really hard to come by so it was awesome
and he was the coolest black kid ever
he was wearing an express polo
and a red plaid hat
like the one with the fur on the inside
and has ear flaps
so we almost dominated the pong table
but he was really bad
i was sorta on my game
i sunk 4
he sunk 1
and we had a 3 cup lead like the whole game
till thye bounced when i was doing something
and the beer ran out
so i was mad alot out
then we went to jlee's house
and me and paulie started pregaming for liquid ice next weekend
cause we gotta get ready to grind with mad guidettes
he picking me up in the lambo
cuase thats sorta how we do
being guido's and all
u know

ohh ya
and somehow someone got a police snanner
and they heard that cops where going around looking for us
so we all turned off the lights and where mad scared
then the said ok go!
and we all cheered for like 10 hourss

and fuck
i lost an hour of sleep
and no ones home at my house now
so i dont know where everyone is

wowza

today was mad alot aweosme
had a sweet tits sandywhich for lunch
mad alot big
like ma wang
then wallball
which i made my bitch
then my first varsity practice
it was probly the funniest way a coach has ever called me stupid ever
coahc grasso was like
well mybe if u werent at home all this fucking week playing with yourself and eating doritos u would know wat to do
and he just kept saying playing with yourself
and i kept getting everything wrong
and he's like where u playing with urself this whole fucking time craig
and im like no coach i wasnt playing with myself...atleast this time
it was funny
and i love calling stuff out in lacrosee
matt craig ur hot
so i wink at the goalie
matt craig ur on fire fire fire
another wink
mad alot fun
and i think i on varsity now
so thats cool
me and lenny
only niggas on varsity
and russ
him 2
and waffles is so funny
ive called over 100 girls a hottie
and not one has smacked me

pawning mad noobs like im lizzo in halo
or jeff with boats and flying and water spaceships and stuff


WAFFLES190: ... o yea i know whether u remove the pic or not ill sleep well tonight because i know at the end of the day im not a piece of shit
The Matty Craig: ok, nope, dont u ever call me a piece of shit
The Matty Craig: sorry ur gf made out with me
The Matty Craig: im a charming kid, its not my fault im good looking
WAFFLES190: did i call u a piece of shit...umm noo

im glad that my posts been so long lately
gives my .4 reades a day something to cherish

101 posts

i just now relized i had been wearing my boxers backwards all day
prob cuase today i got up at 6:44 and my bus comes at 6:46
just thouhgt id share that

what would the music be without the sounds

well this weekend was so muhc funn
it all started friday when i left school early
one part sucked cause the school was out of lettuce
so my sandwhich got messed up
so that part was sad
then i went to the city
first i was sucha sweet sweet guido/sex machine
and also i kept hittin on a girl that i didnt know cause everyone told me to
it was redic funny
and all the smart schools in the city
from wat i saw
79% asain
20% white
1% black
that was the avg breakdown
but the one black kid i met was awesome
so ya
after that i went to bre's sweet 16
it was so so fun
i met mad fine shorites
and some mystery girl from fv knew everything about me
but she was nice so it was ok
and ya
they had good chicken cutlets
then we went back to gabes house
then patrick
and patrick kept beating everyone and it was fun
and patrick is sucha typical irish man
first thing i saw on his liqour cabinet and inside of it was three bottles of baileys and jamesons
and his dad has a secret beer vault according to him
i beleive it
so ya
then the next day i got breakfast
and some how it costed 17.51
just for me
wtf!
was good though
then we just chilled in the city alll day
and found blake
and saw mikey coogan
so it was sweet tits
and i wore patricks shirt all weekend
thne we hunout with some parkslope cut ya throat heads
theys was cool
basicly everyone there wanted my wang
and then i bought them 40's
didnt get id'd
then bouhgt a bottle of a ghetto version of 151
and 99 bananans
then we went to patricks rooms and drank away our sorrows
we watched zoolander
so i enjoyed it very much
straight shot of 151
worst expirence of my life
its like getting kicked in the balls
but the balls is your throat and face and heart
and the kick is a sawed of shotgun
then today had china food for breakfast
and the train conductor said wow that smells great
did u get it at (insert location)
i said no i got it at (insert location)
he was like oh cool!
and some spanish man got the wrong train ticket
and was so scared and confused when the conductor came to him
so
i gave him money and got other people on the train to give him money
it was cool
now im here
yup
and still got a bottle of 151
cant wait to drink

im married to that crazy bitche call me kevin federline

well first
lior just got his junior license
he drives a mad legit benz
like mad mad legit
ya
and we got 2 bacon egg and cheeses today
good day

hmm wat else
ohh ya
i keep stuff on there like forever so it wont change
oh wait
nvm i changed it in 3 days
way to keep promises!
yaaay!
love it when people say they will do things and not do them
its not a big deal wat they did
its just that they did it
guess people change (=
wonder if its over
well atleast how it was
hard to go back to things after u end em and keep putting people in the backseat
i dont know wana think wat if
wat about wat if with me?


im crossing these mothas like tick tac toe

also
going to bre's sweet 16 tomrow
yaay
i miss gabe and patrik and bre and i hopefully will see bk kids
brooklyn
park slope cut yo throat

i miss hugh
and if someone spanish reads this
wat does mentirosa mean
its sucha sweet song

yup yup

ima motha fucking cash money millionare

ok
first of today was fun
i helped big russ move a tv cause he couldnt handle it
i wanted to movie into the class i moved it 2
i have eather hooked up or saw naked prob half that class
so group work would of been funn
and wat else
i just dominated my ss project
we had to show rise of dictatorship/nazism
so i showed hitler on an elevator
then we had to show the depression
so i had a dollar bill
and fort minor under it
whered u go?
ok i wana thank jeff
he showed me my new favorite lil wayne song
i'm me

im me
so who you
you not me
you not me
i know that aint fair
but i dont care im still a motha fucking cash money millionare

its so awesome
cuase it acts like it ends
then starts agaaing
then ends
then starts again
then ends
then starts
then ends
and its over
oh u lil wayne

and nigga when im like 70
ima shit on myself cause im so sick of shittin on everyone else

mad legit son
mad legit
and just got net flix
so liz we can see mad movies
then ghost ride da whip
then get mad beer
and liqour
cause nigga
i am the hottest under the sun
i love
my bathrobeee
its so fucking aweosme and versitale
am i wearing under wear
am i not wearing under wear???!?!?!?!
ull never know
and it takes like 1/6 of a second to get nakedo
so yyaaay

hooway!
just sound it out
and tell me u dont love it
cuase then u would be lying
motha fucka!

oh and i wonder why after people end things they act nicer than they did when we had something
who knows
people r wierd
and work in mysterious ways


im tired of these motha fucking snapes
on this motha fucking plane
-harry potter

this sucks so bad
i want to sleep so bad
but if i sleep i wont be able to go to bed tonight
and that will suck too
shit
this sucks
fuck
and i have to do an essay
well not all of it but i should get it started

haha i put rogain in your cereal

well last night i had a wacky dream
i was eating breakfast and liz and allie where there
they where really happy and smiley when i got to the table
for some reason my bowl of cereal and ovaltine was already there
the cereal was reeses puffs so u know it was a wet dream
the whole time i was eating liz and allie where just smiling
allie my cousin
then after i was done they burst out laughing
i didnt get it
they r crazy so i payed no attention to it
i went and watch tv and liz and allie kept laughing
after tv i got up and walked by a mirror
i had a big unibrow
and it was like dyed weird where it was like dark brown with stripes of lighter brown
liz and allie said
"hahahah we put rogain in your cereal"
i got really angry and chased tham around
thats all i remeber
it was mad alot wacky

another wacky dream i just remember is one morning my mom woke me up
she was really mad and said
wtf! matt did u shave ur toungue all over the counter again!
i said no mom i just shaved my stubble
and we argued
for some reason it made sense

chyea chyea
my new favorite saying
whenever someone says anything
chyea boi chyea
to all my fellow bro's out there
im sad 2
the new jack johnson cd sucked
wata fake bro
fro
he prob would drink heienekin over natty
pshhh
ya
so today my dad woke me up at 10 for no reason
so when i didnt get up he yelled at me
i know my mom prob told him to to get me back on my sleep schedule but wtf?
hmm
there better be fun stuff to do tonight
song of the day
jack johnson-the cove
just for kat

no, its only 5 and a half inches bigger than urs

well today i hung out with stacy and kat
wish i had sweet secret names for them
kk
so i saw qat today
wat a cool way to spell ur namee
and b4 seeing her i slept for 15 hours
went to bed at 1 am
woke up at like 430 in the afternoon
so i champed my sleep schedule
then hungout with kat
i feel like adam waking up late in the afternoon
ok so hanging out with kat
we got to watch americas top model
it was so awesome
oh wait
no it wasnt
and hmm wat else
we watched girllicous
and david blaine
he has some new asshole on his videos
zaozo??
gues they ran out of ideas
it happens
ohh and stacy
havent seen her in 4evr
and yaa
she watches project runway
she likes it was more than lunar eclipses
and i was wearing a big awesome comfy sweater
wat the efff!!
david blaine is so fucking funny
but instead of addiing some indian?black? guy
they should if had like chris angel or someone on it
someone who is actually magic
or jason purdy!
hes so fucking magical
so so
and the lunar eclipse was so fucking exciitng
it was like watching nascar
but way more fast moving!!
yaa
so tonight was fun
and ya
dats about it

well first of
listening to dave matthews band
sweet bro!
ohh and got rainbows
honestly comfiest things ever invented
second i spent all weekend with my sister and schuylerat college
it was so awesome
schuyler likes me way more than liz
and my new favorite thing to do is ip relay

wtf

dont you love it when the one thing u love
the one thing u really try to perfect
one thing u spend all day at class waiting for
u suck at
idk
its sports
i coudlnt find the back of the net tonight
who knows mybe it was a bad night
but fuck
my teams is 3/4 retarted
and today i was 4/4 retarted
i just couldnt do anyhting
why cant i be athletic
why do i have to be completly fucking winded in the first 5 min of the game
i gotta start fucking running
shit
i probly cant even run a mile
wtf
ok

just had to let that out
i still had 2 goals tonight but watever

and suffern had this black indian kid
i fucking hate naturally athletic kids when they not on my team

ya
i havent been on in like 10 years
it happens
well last night was one of the best nights of this year
i got kicked of the hockey team
first we lost in OT 3-2
great job guys!
then on the bus ride home i was smaking jd aka tubs whenn we was sleeping
also when frankie aka big l was on his phone i was smacking him in the head with a seat belt
it was really interracial flirting in its purest form
it was really funny
and we where all laughing and attacking each other
then after coach was like
Matt i have to talk to you (points at me)
i was confused at first because i was sitting with a kid named Matt
so we where confused cause i didnt do anything bad tonight
he was all your suspended till further notice
"dont call me, ill call you"
i guess he didnt know i havent wanted to been on this team since the first day
so there was a good chance i would never call him
and whne he calls me
ima be all
fuck you coach
and mybe go to one practice to tell shooster off
give me an S-H-0-0-S-T-E-R
i really am gunna miss the team though
they all my niggas
especially ant
we get mad bobo's together
and i would play next year
but only if i only had to go to practice once a week
shooster died
joe pane started in goal
i would also try really hard and start if we could fight
cuase ima beast
and
im gunna miss showing off in the hockey weight room

rip hockey career 2001-2008
waking up at 3 in the morning for house league games
and now getting back at 1in the morning for varsity games
i really loved the sport
so wat if i sucked
i took up alot of the net and thats half the battle
i hope u guys all remeber me as the best goalie
i know you will

heath ledger was just found dead
)=
i guess i will never brokeback him
but ya he was found with a buncha sleeping pills
not sure if its suicide )=

so funniet event of the day
i was partying boying shooster (team mom) cause we where listening to techno in hocky
and then he turns around and says "get out of my face craig"
and i say "no, you get out of my face"
and says ok and walks away
it was so funny
but first u must know shooster
he's a over weight thirty something
prob hasnt had a gf since 8th grade
and still lives with his mom
he coaches hockey
well not really coaches
he more like just a big bad kid on the team

also
playing sports with people that are way better than you is so good
sally p taught me so much in likke an afternoon of shooting
and gives u something to aspire for
and
for some reason my mom thinks im so hood is a joke
so everytime me and liz plays it she makes up her own rap
"im so middle class and white
i play tennis at the court"
and stuff like that
too bad she cant rhyme cause she mad white

well since no one reads this i can say watever i want
well first i gotta find a ride to the kegger sat
so any takers call me
and secondly i wish i could quit hockey
but watever
not gunna happen
also liz loves vegas
but mom and dad think she gunna get raped
but she can kick my ass she can kick any raper ass
wow
my itunes is so wacky
poppin bottles to summer lovin
thats some wacky shit
hmm
thats about it on my life
on justins life
he is now "boss nigger"

two words
fuck hockey
thats been the best way to describe me
its really ruining my life
i been angry all the time
not hanging out with friends
and is a complete waste of time
and ohh ya my dad hates me cuase i suck at it
its fucking great